Good Hair?!

So I finally watched Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair. It was a very good documentary and it opened my eyes to something that plays a very important part in EVERY Black person's life whether they want to admit or not. Both men and women worry about it, which is the reason why boys will brush their hair for hair for hours to get their waves "spinning" or women will purchase 18+ inch weaves by the ounce to get that long flowing hair that blows in the wind. What I also thought about was Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye and Pecola wanted so bad to have long blond hair and blue eyes so she would be pretty because no one would love a little dark-skinned black girl with nappy short hair.

What is "good hair" and do you have it? Listening to these people's definition of what "good hair" had me picking my brain to see if I too felt that way. What do I consider "good hair"? Growing up I was taught that nappy or kinky hair wasn't "good hair" cause it was too hard to take of. I want to be honest but I don't want to come off as vain either but my first thought was hair that is manageable so obviously that person had to have been mixed with another race. But on the less vain side, I think that "good hair" is healthy. Length doesn't necessarily mean that it's healthy.

What struck me the most while watching this documentary was the part about women getting relaxers or what most people call it, "perms". Besides the fact that this was such a harmful chemical that these women and sometimes men were putting in their hair it was also being applied to children as young as three years old. Sodium Hydroxide aka Lye could burn through a soda can in an hour so imagine what it could do to our skin and our hair. A three year old's hair follicles are not yet fully formed and for someone to put something that harmful in a child's hair that early is crazy!

My hair was relaxed at the age of seven and I really wished now that my mother had waited a little longer until Junior High and had let me decide if I wanted to perm my hair or not. I mean I understood why she did it, she had three girls and it was a headache to have to comb all three of their hair but I wish she would have waited a little while longer. My hair was particularly hard to manage because it was so thick and long but still.

What I am trying to prove or say is that you should love and embrace your hair no matter what the texture is. I didn't embrace it and I didn't take enough care of it and now I am wishing it was back to the length and fullness that it once was. "Good hair" can be so many different things and has no real textbook definition. So embrace and love what you have. Love your hair and every strand, nap or curl that it may have.

divergence (fork in the road)

we've finally come to that fork in the road.
stuck deciding if we should make that left or right together or go separately.
divergence.
and i know we're straying from what we had originally planned but sometimes you've got to alter your course and tweak it a bit.
cause ive been driving down this road with you for about 6 years now
and for some reason it seems like we've been passing the same tree over and over.
it feels like we've already passed that house on the left a few times before.
but we keep driving and ignoring the fact that we're not making any progress.
we keep driving but we haven't moved anywhere.
stuck in park i suppose…
the gear's been shifted.
somebody's got to get out the car and make an effort to try to fix things.
find a gas station, a mechanic, somebody who can help.
but it seems like the only willing to make a sacrifice is me.
the only one willing to shell out the money to get our car fixed is me.
well i think i finally just ran out of money.
my bank has been exhausted and there's no more.
but that's not to say we can't get out and walk.
i'm willing to go 'a la pie' but you gotta be willing too.
willing to walk that distance for me and for us because you want to.
love is a two-way street so you better watch out for traffic.
look both ways before you cross.
and hold my hand too.
we stayed on the right side of the street til we got to that fork at the end of the road.
we got stuck trying to decide if we should make that left or right together or go separately.
i chose to diverge.