I Choose Me

This is just something that I was thinking about recently and decided to write it down, while I was supposed to be paying attention in class, but that is another story for another day...
I hope you enjoy it because it is from the heart and I'm putting myself out there and exposing my vulnerability.

five years
committed to you
i mean, like, my body, soul, my heart
you took me that cold, rainy day
&i submitted, became your slave
silly of me to think that that would change you
so i decided to change me
maybe if i altered me a little it would get better
eventually, hopefully... one day
was available to you whenever you called
no matter the time, weather or place
you took note of this &took full advantage
they say that those that love the least controls the relationship the most
the more control you took the weaker i became
broken and weak, i slowly diminished
i wasn't the same anymore
i wasn't the same Natasha that smiled &was happy
NO...
every night i crawled deeper &deeper into a hole of darkness &depression
but as i was buried deep there inside of that dark tunnel
i saw a bright light that shown down &told me to start digging free
that light told me to dig closer to freedom &away from you
so i did
i dug for what felt like ions
but i broke free
built up all the strength i had once lost
&told you that i was done &it was over
said i was done loving someone who didn't love me the same way that i loved them
i was done trying to change someone who did not want to be changed
i was done putting you 1st when i wasn't your #1
how hard was it to commit to someone who you had been involved with for almost 6yrs
i was done being your fool, your rag doll
i deserved real love from someone who was capable of giving it to me the right way
i can no longer wait for you to get your shit together
my time is valuable &precious and so am i
so, i choose me...